"Don't beat yourself up about it"

Whenever I complain or try to explain a problem I'm having, I end up hearing this. There are a lot of things I hear in different ways:

• "You're selfish" or "self-centered" or "it's all about you" or "it's not all about you"
• "it's meant to be"
• "everything happens for a reason"
• "don't think about it too much"

But this "don't beat yourself up" is the one that's always worded the exact same. It's funny, because I used to literally do just that: I'd have such a hard time sleeping that I would feel out of control and hate my body. I'd hate whatever was wrong with my mind so much that I'd hit myself in the head until I was dizzy and feeling terribly guilty for hurting myself.

I even have an ADD book that advises people with ADD not to hit themselves in the head. I wish I'd read that when I was a child.

I don't know if it's the way I talk about problems that brings that sentence out of people. I talk about how terrible I feel. I think it's just the emotional intensity and introspection that I bring to things.