The typical bad self-talk

I'm damaged goods. People are into me until they get to know me, and then they regret getting to know me, they look for a way out, and they take it as politely as they can. Because I make such a great early impression on people, and am such a wonderful person, they'll often try many "strategies" to avoid having to get rid of me, but in the end, it just prolongs the period before they start trying to get rid of me.

It goes like this:

1. Everything is great. They just can't believe how wonderful I am and how lucky they are to know me.
2. Maybe I start letting things hang out too much. Giving too much information. Or maybe I'm good about it and they just start noticing little cracks in the surface. They get impatient with having to wait all the time while I get ready for whatever's going on. They get frustrated when I miss things, when I'm not prepared, and when my emotional responses are confusing. Wise, self-assured people who haven't invested much at this point tend to get out while they can, while they can do it quietly. I always respect them in this because I know that they're avoiding so much trouble.
3. When someone wants to continue to associate with me, they come up with all sorts of strategies to keep things going - to avoid being affected by my ADD and emotional problems by adding distance or space to the relationship, or not getting too wrapped-up in my "scene." Sometimes they try adding artificial pressure, thinking that things just aren't mattering enough to me to get my full attention. This always makes things worse. Sometimes they ease the pressure up a bit and give me some freedom, and this helps things, but I'm still too incompatible with their way of doing things for it to be a permanent solution. This is the stage when real frustration sets in, and they start making things worse. I also end up trying all sorts of strategies to make things work before everybody runs out of patience (or ignorance).
4. At some point, people just can't take any more and they realize that they're not up to the task of continuing the association. At this point they're very aware of my sensitivity to rejection and my efforts to solve my problems, so they're really challenged by the position they're in. How can they remove themselves (or me) without making it too obvious? I can always feel when people are increasingly uncomfortable with my very presence... it's a terrible feeling. I start thinking "alright fine, just fire/dump/evict me, just get it over with" and so I'll start acting out to speed the process up and bring things to a head.
5. They'll keep trying to act positively to me after I'm gone, and make plays at continuing some form of limited relationship. Sometimes I'll take them at their word and reinsert myself in a minimal way, and sometimes that works out fine, but usually I end up feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome, and end up completing the separation myself. I vow to do things differently the next time, to take things more slowly at first, to give them more information about my situation, or give less and be more mysterious.

It happens with every job, every friendship, every relationship, every roommate arrangement... it happened with my parents too. Nobody can deal with me. Nobody can handle my self-centered little world that I can't escape from, and why should they? They've got a ton of other people who might not be brilliant enough to inspire their lives the way I do, or help their company the way I do, but also don't need to have everything they do checked over for accuracy, or need so much extra attention in one way or the other.

I'm nervous to go anywhere, or do anything. Even going to buy some groceries. I know that something could go wrong at any minute. I could magically lose something, or forget about something, or screw something up, and there won't be any reasonable explanation. I'm afraid to make new friends, new relationships or new working arrangements because I hate the pattern and I don't want to go through it ever again, in any way. But I don't want to be alone, unloved and unemployed forever: I want to share what I have to share. I want to contribute, and if I didn't have such great contributions to make I probably wouldn't try... but in each business, I can see ways that I could improve it. In each girl that I'm attracted to, I see how happy I could make her, and in each person that I want to be friends with, I can see how I could add happiness and fun to their lives.

The real problem with this kind of self-talk is that it's just accurate. If it weren't so true, I could see through it like I see through some of my other bad self-talk. I could say "oh I'm just being negative." But even when I'm feeling great and things are going well, and I really feel wonderful about myself, I still feel the pattern happening, I still remember it happening in the past, and I still dread its progress in the future.